playing catch up

We're back from Bowen.  The Bowen dream is done.  I cried.  I wanted it so bad.  I fell hard for the lifestyle and was ready to take the leap.  I loved how stripped back things were on the island.  I liked having less options, choices and more land.  I wanted the girls to grow up in the that unique environment where everybody knows each other.  I wanted the 2.5 acres, the dog, the garden, the community - the whole thing. I was ready to give up a lot.  However, Drew wasn't sold on the commute.  He said it would take him away from us more and that it would be career limiting.  I knew this, but was hoping he would fall as hard as I did.  It's hard to argue with those points.  He wasn't a happy camper when we were there and was markedly happier upon return home. We both want the very best for our family and we have to be on the same page to make it work.  Ah, marriage.

I can't ignore that something was sparked a while ago about the idea of having more space and living outside of the city.  This whole Bowen Island experience was brought on by a question I asked Drew last summer.  As we were lying in bed one night in the dark, just before we dozed off, I asked him "if he ever wanted to live in the country?"  Something grew from that and we followed it through to making an offer on the dream place on Bowen.  It wasn't meant to be...right now.  That doesn't mean I will give up in securing my "nature spot."  I want a place to escape the city and see the stars.  I won't give up until I've got it.

Our house is going up for sale next week.  There is so much to do.  I started by packing a few boxes for storage and getting my hair coloured.  A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?

I took a knitting class this week and landed up being the laugh of the class and talking about wet dreams with a bunch of random women. Sadly, it wasn't the discussion of puberty's pitfalls that was a real hoot, but rather my mad knitting skills. Sigh.  I booked another lesson.

I've become so intrigued with Desolation Sound since I've been reading this book. I want to go.  It's on my list of places I want to visit in Canada.  Right up there with the Queen Charlotte Islands, the Maritimes and the Yukon. 

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My eyes are heavy.  My brain is cooked.  I'll go read about Desolation Sound and dream a little dream.

consternation

Ok - I'll start with the good stuff.

- a wonderful date night hubby on Saturday eve.  We wandered down the hill to grab some delisious Tuscan eats.  My oh my do we eve enjoy this restaurant.  We orderd a bottle of Chianti in honour of the many we drank on our honeymoon in Tuscany.  The wine wasn't so hot, but reminising about times gone by were.  We congratulated ourselves on "picking well" in our mate selections and toated to happiness.  Damn, I do love my hub and so enjoy his company.  We fit.

- beautiful walks in the woods with my loved ones

- friends visiting us on the island!
- jumping in puddles
- these sweet cheeks

The consternation bit comes in because all this good stuff was sprinkled with big talks, big decisions, big thoughts, big realizations and yet - no conclusions.  Just more stress in terms of where we want to live, how much we want to pay, and more who, what, when, where and why's.  Grrr - it made me a frustrated girl. I feel like we are just moving in circles and time is ticking.  Our big girl starts school in 8 months and we don't have a clue where we will be living, let alone where she will go to school.  This provides uncertainty and well, stress.  We are talking about a permanent, long-term move.  In the past, we've bought 3 places and the longest we stayed in one was 4 years.  Times have changed and we need to think 'big picture'.  We can't just fly by the seat of our pants.  We have two precious lovies to think of and plan a life for ourselves. 

Ok - I'm tired and cranky.  Time to hit the hay.

challenges

They are forecasting snow for tonight.  We'll have to see what that means for us islanders.  We were told to prepare for power outages and being 'marooned' on the island.  It would be awfully pretty up here with some white stuff.

Today was challenging.  There was a loooong wait to see the doctor, two really hungry kids after said appointment, a dog that didn't get a proper walk, whining, teething, a butt rash, a broken button on a couch that is not ours, lots of trips, falls and bumps and bruises.  Ugh.  The good part was visiting the Family Place.  The girls had a play and were mighty happy to see new toys and new kids and I chatted with some island moms.  I've pretty much become a social butterfly and total extrovert and talk to everyone I can about life on the island.  From what I understand, it takes about 6 months to a year to adjust and then people love it.  Hmmmm.  In between challenges I got these funny shots:

As you can probably tell, I'm loving my new camera.  Ooooh, what a difference it makes.  It's so much fun and I guess I think my subjects are pretty cute too.

I'm a few glasses into some red wine and I have to admit that the "challenges" are slowly starting to wear away.  Funny, that.  I'm looking forward to climbing into the big fluffy bed and reading How To Be Canadian.  I found it on the book shelf here, among many fabulous books.  The book is charmingly Canadian and I love that.  Along with Rick Mercer, Pierre Trudeau, Jian Gomeshi, CBC, Neil Young and poutine!

So, I'll just come right out and say it.  We've fallen for a property out here on the island.  We actually fell for it back in September and re-visited it this past weekend.  The love affair still continues.  We saw many other properties, some of which are probably "better for us" on paper.  For example, the place across the street is just as big, in better shape and 80k cheaper (i.e."the nice guy") and yet my heart is in a knot over the one that is a bit rough around the edges, needs some work and a bit more of a handful (i.e. "the bad-boy").   The bad boy isn't bad at all.  In fact it is 2.5 acres of land covered with rolling hills, gardens, grass and woods.  It's over 3000 sq feet of rugged beauty with a stone fireplace, old wood beams and a beautiful view.  It's country living indeed.  I wandered through through the property and imagined it in the summer in all it's gorgeousity.  I heard the birds, deer in the trees, a stream running though the bushes, felt the grass under my feet, a breeze in my hair and saw 2.5 acres of our OWN LAND.  I never knew I wanted that.  I think I just might.  I imagined the girls running around the woods, playing in the trees and watching the sunsets from our deck.  Not to mention the hot tub and outdoor fireplace.   See, I'm too far gone!  We are torn and it's one big ass decision.

I think I might need to pick up this book.  Or maybe this one.

Till the m'orrow,
Farmer C.

day 2 on the Rock

Here we are on the eve of day 2 on our Bowen Island Adventure.  It's been a pretty smooth transition.  The girls and I had our first full day alone here on Friday when Drew commuted to work.  I was a little scared of being left alone on the island with "nothing to do", but that definitely wasn't the case.  Between going to the library, taking Sherpa for a walk, and entertaining my littles for the rest of the day, it was time to pick up Drew from the ferry at 5pm in no time.   We had dinner and then went for a walk in the dark.  When I say dark, I mean, DARK.  Despite being up here on Cate's Hill, which is a populated area, it was pitch black out there.  We all marveled at the darkness and the starts as we made our way down the hill and through the quiet Cove.  The walk back up the hill, pushing the stroller, was another story.  Now that was a workout.  By the time I got near the house, I had my coat off and was ready to take my shirt off too.  I guess I could have.  It was too dark to see anything.  Anyway, it was a good reminder that I can't really attempt that with 2 kids and a dog by myself.  A car is a necessity in these parts.

view from our living room

Sherpa, the most gentle dog I've ever met

our new temporary digs

colouring time

We saw some homes with a Realtor this morning, but nothing caught our attention.  We are off again tomorrow morning to see some more.  After that we will hit the play gym at the school and hopefully grab a coffee and walk.

We all had a BIG 2 hour family nap this afternoon.  Consequently Annie was not too interested going to bed tonight.  She stayed up later doing a puzzle.  She got it for her birthday and it's a 100 pieces.  She did it first with her Dad and then as soon as they finished it she wanted to tear it up and do it again.  This time she did it all by herself as Drew and I were busy with putting Lila to bed and cleaning up.  When I came upstairs after Lila was down, Annie said "look how much I've done, Mommy!  I can hardly feel my heart beating!".  It took me a moment to know what she was talking about, but I realized she was so excited about how well she was doing, that was her best way of explaining it.  Her heart was a flutter!  Too funny.  A little while later she finished it and we all celebrated with a great "hurrah!!" and family hug.  I told her if she can do that puzzle she can do anything she sets her mind to.  She reminded me that she still wants to be a doctor, rock-star and mommy.  We told her those were great things to want to be.

It's very dark, very quiet and my family has all gone to bed.  I can see the lights on top of Cypress mountain and that's about it.  I LOVE the quietness.  I want to breathe it allllllll in.  It's slower here, and we've been enjoying that pace.  As of today we still have 2 more weeks on the rock.  Who knows what will come to mind and heart after this little journey.

these two are pals

words for today

I was introduced to Mary Oliver recently.  I do enjoy her poems, particularly this one:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes, 
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, 
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -- 
over and over announcing your place 
in the family of things.

by Mary Oliver

Steveston - New Years Day 2011